i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
my liver is dry heaving
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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