She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
