she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The adults are the big ones right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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