His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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