So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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