I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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