Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.

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(972): View more from Texas

My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101

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(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.

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(314): View more from Missouri

great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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(708): View more from Illinois

For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?

(773): View more from Illinois

To be honest, kinda.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.

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