I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
