Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
