she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
