She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
