I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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