P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize