You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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