So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
