a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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