Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
