I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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