she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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