I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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