butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
