yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
