If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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