So drunk its hurt
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
