Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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