I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
