the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it glows. i had to have it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
