I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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