Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
