Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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