you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
