It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
