p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
