You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
