I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
