yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
