I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
