my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
