Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
