i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
