Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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