she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
