out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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