I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
