I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As shirtless as possible
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
