I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
