He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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