guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
