Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
