ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
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I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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