you would pick up someone in the library
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
