the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
