69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
