Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
