why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
