Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
