I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
