The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
