You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
