Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
