Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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