69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
