Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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